Every single year it goes And where it comes from, no one knows The train arrives on Hallowe’en And brings back those who haven’t been seen In twelve long months. They never stay ‘The train has took their lives away,’ Some say… [Chorus] It doesn’t matter what your destination is, so don’t be stressed A feast for every humble guest Now come and make this train your nest We offer service from our best The opportunity to rest So come along, just tell us ‘yes’ And ride the Hallowe’en Express Go get your tickets if you’re brave That train is surely like a grave And if you dare to stand in line At Old South Station, covered in vine, You’ll wait behind the old, who buy ‘I’d rather ride the train than die,’ Some cry… [Chorus] One year they’re gone, but now come back, Their bodies have remained intact, Although their minds, their selves, are gone The body simply carries on And aims to serve each humble guest They’ll honor every made request I guess… [Chorus]

There's a bat And a rat And a big black scary cat It's too spooky for me There's a skeleton And a vampire There's something in the fire It's much too spooky for me It's too spooky Too spooky It's too spooky for me I can't look It's too spooky for me It's too spooky Too spooky It's too spooky for me I have to turn away It's too spooky for me There's a monster And a witch Am I really seeing this? It's too spooky for me There's a jack-o'lantern with arms and legs There's a ghost coming down the stairs It's much too spooky for me It's too spooky Too spooky It's too spooky for me I can't look It's too spooky for me It's too spooky Too spooky It's too spooky for me I have to turn away It's too spooky for me What's that under the stairs? I'm sure that that should not be there What's that, there in the window? In fact, I'd rather not know It's too spooky Too spooky It's too spooky for me I can't look It's too spooky for me It's too spooky Too spooky It's too spooky for me I have to turn away It's too spooky for me

One night, a creepy woman gave me a gift It was a tiny little skeleton toy And when I pressed the button under the thrift store price tag It sang and danced around with great joy But when the skeleton stopped working and broke I put it out in my garage for a year And when I brought it out, I tell you, no joke It started saying things that gave me much fear It was a… [Chorus, 2x] Toy skeleton, haunted and possessed This is demonic, crazy! A toy skeleton, haunted and possessed This is demonic, crazy Well now, it asked me ‘what the hell do you want?’ It turned to face me with its glowing red eyes And though right now it just says ‘what do you want?’ It knows it’s videotaped, I didn’t lie So maybe all it does is splutter and splurt right now But I promise it’ll get interesting Because I know it’s gonna drop this little front And you’ll be glad you weren’t missing a thing ‘Cause it’s a… [Chorus, 2x] You know, the skeleton is being an asshole That’s why it doesn’t wanna do anything But now you heard that it was giving me sass, ohhh I should drop this cam and give it a swing And all we’re doing here is pressing a button And this thing just isn’t wanting to work But if it wants something from us, it should say what So go ahead and tell us, you little jerk! "What, me?!" "No! The… thing!" You’re just a… [Chorus, 2x] So tell us, what exactly are you afraid of? (You.) Oh, well, I would be afraid of that too. You think that We might figure out what you’re made of? (No.) Well, We’re standing here and we can see you Why don’tcha come right outta there and perform for us? Unless if we are really pissin’ you off? Wait, do you want us to be pissin’ you off? Why don’tcha show us? Why don’tcha show us? Why don’tcha-- [Bridge] Now we aren’t touching this thing, but it goes nuts! And in the name of Jesus Christ, you get out! Nobody’s doing something to make this happen. And in the name of Jesus Christ, you get out! The noise you hear, it’s shaking hard on the counter It’s getting loud, for you to hear I will shout You see, this is a real demonic encounter So in the name of Jesus Christ, you get out! You’re just a… [Chorus, 2x] No, you’re not welcome here and no, you’re not wanted (I know, I’m tapin’ it, I tape, I tape this) We know this little plastic dummy is haunted (I do, I’m tapin’ it, I tape, I tape this) We will not have you in this house, you demon-spawn So press the button, press the button, get out! You’re gettin’ outta here this minute, yeah, you’re gone! (You’re gone! You’re gone!) “Oh my god. Stephan unplugged it. I’m turning this off now.”